A Mother, Trying To Be A Mother Cont;

09 Dec

ImageThe guy she met in the early 2000’s, showered her with hopes and broken promises, but she didn’t really care because he was always there. He gave her attention that made her think he loved or wanted to be with her. He used all avenues to to go down to make her believe that she was worthy.

Everybody in her circle knew she wasn’t because she was doing hoe-ish things to be accepted by guys. He even drifted at some point to another woman, because she didn’t respect herself. He use to slap, and pull her hair, because she wanted more and thought there will be more. He verbally, physical and emotionally abused her because he knew she was vulnerable and felt if she would accept that, she would be at his feet. Basically, thinking she needed him. In so many ways,  she did. More so with validation and the sake of somebody being there, than anything else.

She had a baby by this man a year or so later and wasn’t able to take care of him (her baby) because he (her baby’s father) wasn’t around…she tried the best she could based off what she knew, but couldn’t, so her baby was brought into DCFS at the age of 3 months. She was devastated but still did everything in her powers to get him back. But after a year of trying she went on and terminated her rights because she knew what her baby had she couldn’t give him at the time.

She went on to endure the same abuse by other guys and had babies by them as well. She then started to abuse her kids because she was abused by their fathers. She always vowed she will never hurt her kids like she was hurt, but did…unconsciously. She let her kids down but more so herself. Again, the cycle has repeated itself and her other two kids were taken by DCFS. She tried to get them back, but to no avail it was declined. Now she has three kids in the system that she can never get back and is able to only still see one.  Moral of the story….Never let yourself, get in your way!

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Posted by on December 9, 2012 in Catergorized


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